An Open Letter To Josh Gordon’s Open Letter

Dear Josh Gordon’s Open Letter:

What up? I know you’ve never met me, which would be like impossible to do because we’re both inanimate objects, but I feel that I need to address you. Not as a critic, but as a kindred spirit; as one disingenuous piece of writing to another. I think it’s important to point out that I’m not a critic because it seems you have a problem with critics, particularly Josh Gordon’s . So before I go any further I just want you to know that I am totally on your side and am in no way being critical of you or Josh or the PR team that wrote you. I think you’re all swell people.

You may ask yourself why someone who you have never met would take the time to craft an open letter discussing your existence in the first place. It seems kinda desperate and “cry for attention”-y on its face, right? I mean why would anyone go through all the effort of penning a self-serving, one-sided narrative full of talking points that lack the ability to be refuted in any way when it won’t change anything? Clearly it’s because I care about you, Open Letter. I probably care too much about you frankly. But this is America and you are tangentially connected to football therefore I have no choice but to care, and care passionately, and get all my caring in right now before the 24-hour news cycle moves on to Richard Sherman’s midwife betting the over.

I’d like to start by saying I don’t care a lick about Josh Gordon. I mean not at all. In any way. This does not mean that I wish him ill. In fact quite the opposite. I would love to see Josh go forth and flourish in these streets. Or the streets of Cleveland. Or whichever streets he’s in just some long as he’s not drunk driving again because that’s not how you flourish. It’s how you wind up like Josh wound up, all suspended and malflourished and whatnot. In fact if Josh wasn’t one of the most malflourished people on the planet you wouldn’t even have been written and the time spent writing me could have been used to watch Empire instead.

Have you seen Empire yet? I know you’re only like a day old but you really should stop floating around the internet and take time to watch it. It’s a trainwreck! A glorious, gratuitous trainwreck of a show that only get more outrageous by with every episode. In that sense it’s sort of like Josh’s excuses for everything he’s done only more realistic. There’s even a marginally talented kid with a Gumby haircut and a terrible attitude! How perfect is that? You’d love it!

I only bring up Empire because there’s a character on the show that has a problem. We’ll call him “J”. Not just because his name is Jamal but because that will also make the forthcoming thinly veiled reference to Josh much easier to make. So anyway J has a problem, only he can’t admit he has a problem, which obviously makes the problem worse. J is gay. That’s not the problem of course, this is 2015 after all. The problem is that he doesn’t want to publically admit to his fans that he is gay. This adds even more to J’s problems since he’ really not that popular to begin with and being honest would actually probably only help his popularity. But he can’t deal with the idea of people knowing the truth about him so he spends his days crying and playing the piano. No seriously. I can prove it.

Now I have not idea if Josh is gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but I do know he has a problem. That’s why he wrote you. But his problem is much the same as Cryin McKnight up there: he can’t admit that he has a problem. It’s so hard for him to admit he has a problem that he wrote you, and you’re more full of crap than he is.

Look I’m not calling Josh a liar per se, but he is in denial, and you should be ashamed of the role you played in fostering that denial.  How many times can any reasonable adult be told ” Don’t do this one thing or else” and yet they mistakenly do it anyway before it’s no longer a mistake but a pattern of calculated lies in order to not face the truth and consequences?

It’s great that you laid out the case for why Josh should be given a second chance. This is America; we love second chances here. However not everyone is deserving of a second chance. We’re willing to forgive and forget unless the person in question is just not likable, in which case we couldn’t care less. Unless we need that person for fantasy purposes, in which case we will still draft them and stash them in the hopes that their particular brand of abuse, be it drug or spousal or child, will not result in them missing too many games. After the season though? We don’t even mess with them like that, fam. Unless it’s a keeper league.

The reasons why Josh deserves our forgiveness (even though he is apparently not checking for it) are not the point. The point is that your existence has no point. The point is that ripping people that can clearly see that Josh has a problem without the benefit of having even met him is idiocy. Not nearly as idiotic as ripping the league for taking money from Budweiser was, but still idiotic all the same. D’Qwell Jackson (somehow this is an actual person and not a Key & Peele character) tweeted his concern for Josh’s well being back in July of last year. Did he get an open letter too or did he just get ignored? Did Art Briles not know Josh Gordon either when he dismissed him from Baylor? Why didn’t you make an appearance then, Open Letter?

Josh Gordon is facing a season long suspension for the second year in a row. No amount of weakly penned Mea Culpa is going to change that. Josh Gordon may not be much of a drinker, but he isn’t much of a thinker either. Maybe that makes him a social thinker; he only thinks about the consequences for his future when he’s around others that think about the consequences for his future. Too bad it sounds like he’s not interested in hearing what they have to say.

Well that’s all I have to say. I hope that you take my words to heart, one Open Letter to another. I know you mean well, but you’re part of the problem, not the solution. I hope you’re not needed again anytime soon. But we both know it’s only a matter of time before we’ll see you again. And when that time comes, do the right thing and tell the truth. You can leave out the crying and the piano, though. Thanks in advance.

Yours always,

@nokidsand3money

PODCAST: ROTC Discusses Super Bowl Likablility!

In this episode of Running Out The Clock, Joseph Craven and Keith Harkins sit down to discuss which, out of two really unlikeable Super Bowl teams, is somehow more likable. This process uses absolutely no science or statistics, and instead is based entirely around subjective speculation. Hooray!

The guys also consider what makes Pete Carroll strangely creepy and if Vince Wilfork is an obscure video game character, so what are you waiting for? Check out ROTC Live From The Science Of Subjectivity right now!

As always, subscribe to all episodes of ROTC by clicking here. Also follow @ROTCSports on Twitter for all those updates before they even get posted on AGSH. Keith can be found at @kpharkins and Joseph is @TheJosephCraven.

Running Out The Clock - ROTC

Wild Start to 2015 for LSU Football, As Told by Dandy Don

lsulogo

 

2014 may have ended on a sour note but the new year has a great beginning for LSU football.

It has been a wild year for Les Miles and squad and we are only less than four weeks into the new year.  Tiger fans have seen a long- time defensive coordinator leave, big time recruits heading to town, players making big NFL decisions, a new defensive coordinator coming to town from their biggest rival and not to mention a Louisiana native coming home.

Here is a quick recap of 2015 as told by our good friend Scott over at DandyDon.com

Continue reading Wild Start to 2015 for LSU Football, As Told by Dandy Don

Pro-Wrestling’s Biggest Misses and Near Misses of the 90’s: WCW Thunder

AGSH.1 Introducing a Thursday night cable TV show is not easy. Targeting the right age groups and an ability to compete with a variety of other shows that are already established are things that have to be taken into consideration.

The introduction of WCW Thunder in the beginning was actually a great idea. However, as more and more main event wrestlers were not added to the card, and low to mid-level wrestlers were wrestling in the main event, WCW Thunder quickly became a train wreck of a television program, and another huge miss for WCW in the 90s. Continue reading Pro-Wrestling’s Biggest Misses and Near Misses of the 90’s: WCW Thunder

Is Russell Wilson Elite?

On a message board that I belong to, this discussion came up twice yesterday.   Since we’ll probably be hearing about it too much in the coming two weeks, I’ll get us started.

Elite:

Russell W.

All he has done is win.  He’s got a Super Bowl ring, (probably going to get #2 soon), he’s 10-0 against Super Bowl winning QBs so far.  He threw 26 touchdowns in his rookie season, tying Peyton Manning.  He’s been selected to 2 Pro Bowls.  (For what that’s worth)  He’s set the record for most regular season wins by a QB in  3 seasons.  He set the record for most rushing yards by a QB (122) on Monday Night Football.   He rushed for 106 yards, and threw for over 300 yards against the Rams this year.  And, he only threw 7 INTs this year.  So, he’s got a lot of good things going for him.  And you can’t be mad at that.

 

Not Elite:

Lets face it. If you look at his stats sheet, he’s mostly pretty average.  For example, in the 2014 regular season, he never threw more than 2 TDs in a game.  Even in last years Super Bowl, he only threw 2.  In 2012 when they beat the Cards 58-0, he still only threw one TD in that game.  This year he had 4 games where he threw none at all, and they won 3 of those.  But honestly, his defense and the run game help him out tremendously, and you can’t deny that.

LOB                                             Marshawn Lynch

 

By no means am I saying he’s a bad QB. At all.    And when his contract gets renewed, he’s gonna earn every dollar.  He’s the kind of guy you build around.  He’s a great QB. But let’s wait a little longer before calling him elite.  He’s been great so far, but to me, elite comes when you’ve played for at least 5 years.

Lets see how this year’s Super Bowl and the next two years go.  If he continues to win despite changes that are coming to the team, he’s elite.  And I’ll have no problem saying that.

BTW, if you want a break down of this year’s Super Bowl, check out our friends over at numberFire.com.  PLUS, you can even follow the Game and get analytics!  Make sure you check it out!

 

Follow Sonja on Twitter @Mom23RN

 

 

 

Touchback: Cowboys Make A Statement

In the ever fast paced world of what-have-you-done-for-me-lately NFL, coaches seem to fall off the carousel at an alarming rate without the possibility of building a system.   As we make the final installment of Touchback for the NFL season,  the Cowboys make a statement, Jerry Jones may have found his Tom Landry. Last week the Cowboys made a statement by keeping Continue reading Touchback: Cowboys Make A Statement

The Bearded Texan, Vol. 1

This week marked the end for my Dallas Cowboys and even though there can be an air of disappointment surrounding the loss, I am very proud of this team. Many, including myself, predicted a 5-6 win season and a woeful defense. I did see however in pre-season that this defense was not as terrible as advertised and I slowly began to change my win totals to as much as 10. In the end they reached 12 wins and made it to the divisional round before falling just short of a rematch with Seattle and an improbable NFC Championship appearance. I will touch on a couple points here. Continue reading The Bearded Texan, Vol. 1

Ten Years Of Issues In The Mississippi State Basketball Program

It’s a question that philosophers have debated for many years. As Rick Ray’s Bulldogs begin another conference schedule winless, questions arise about the coaches’ leadership, his value, how long he should stick around, etc. Articles and opinions have been touted all across the internet over how much he is to blame for the current state of the program. And if he isn’t to blame, then who is?

The answer is simple: Literally everyone is to blame for the current state of Mississippi State basketball. Let’s take a look: Continue reading Ten Years Of Issues In The Mississippi State Basketball Program

Dak Is Coming Back: What It Means For Prescott And The Bulldogs

Bulldog coaches and fans can now take a deep breath and turn their attention to filling holes on the offensive line and the defense because Dak Prescott will perform his “particular set of skills” for Mississippi State in 2015. While some were convinced that Dak Prescott was going to move on to the NFL (and couldn’t stop writing as much), Prescott decided what was good for Mississippi State was best for him also. So, what does this mean for Prescott and Mississippi State? Here’s my opinion on the matter. Continue reading Dak Is Coming Back: What It Means For Prescott And The Bulldogs